The Ant and the Grasshopper, 2009 Edition
As Originally Published and Authored -
By Anthony Digiandomenico (MDB Capital) • February 26, 2009 10:00 AM
With what looks like imminent passage of the Mother of All Bailouts (following on the heels of a year’s worth of government-funded rescues of private homeowners, lenders, insurers, and the automakers), Washington has turned Aesop’s famous fable about prudence and hard work on its head. The time is ripe for a revised 2008 edition of “The Saver and the Spendthrift” …
In a Suburb on a hot summer’s day, a Spendthrift was chirping and carousing his time away. He watched scornfully as a Saver nearby struggled to save up money and food and build a secure home. The Saver pulled overtime shifts to pay off his loans and accumulate retirement funds for the future.
“Give it a rest,” the Spendthrift said. “Why bother saving and slaving and toiling and moiling? Let’s party!” The Saver demurred: “I am planning ahead for winter and you should do the same.” The Spendthrift blew off the Saver, squandered his supplies the rest of the season, and abandoned his home while on vacation (paid for by tapping every last cent of his home equity gain) instead of holding down a job.
When winter came, the Spendthrift’s pantry was empty and his shelter ruined from neglect. The Saver, weary from working, saving, and stocking up for months, was dining comfortably in his nest.
Cold, hungry, jobless, facing foreclosure, and up to his two pairs of eyeballs in debt, the Spendthrift limped to the Association of Community of Lazy and Nearsighted for Rescue Now (the ACLNRN) and demanded recourse. The office was swamped with thousands just like him. ACLNRN immediately put the Spendthrift to work registering dead Savers as new voters.
Funded with tax dollars from the rest of the suburb’s residents, ACLNRN organized mass protests at the Bank of Saveramerica, ambushed its top officials at their private homes, harassed their children, and demanded that the meadow’s politicians halt all foreclosures (”We must keep Spendthrifts in their houses!”) and outlaw discriminatory lending practices against starving, homeless Spendthrifts (”Well-stocked shelters are basic rights!”)
The banking industry capitulated; the HUD Lobby secured hundreds of millions of dollars in housing earmarks and grants and counseling subsidies to support the Spendthrifts with the shadiest credit and employment histories. Saverie Mae, the meadow’s government-backed home lending giant, fueled the push for increased insect homeownership in the name of diversity. Its executives cooked the books and headed for the hills. Katie Fraudster and the Mainstream Suburban Media joined the grievance-for-profit circus, profiling Spendthrift sob stories and drumming up ratings as bewildered Savers wondered who was looking out for them.
The banks drowned in toxic debt. More Spendthrifts fell behind on their mortgage payments. Bailout mania and panic gripped the meadow.
Our little Saver, minding his own business, heard a knock on his door one late winter night a year later. It was his old, sneering Spendthrift neighbor. With ACLNRN presidential candidate, Barack Obama, now in office, the Spendthrift had been hired by the meadow as a tax collector.
“I’m here to take your provisions,” the Spendthrift cackled.
But it was the Saver who had the last laugh. “I’ve learned my lesson,” he told his shiftless friend. “Why bother saving and slaving and toiling and moiling? I’ve spent all my savings. I’m walking away from my mortgage. Thrift is for suckers,” the Saver said as he headed out the door, leaving the Spendthrift empty-handed.
March 2, 2009 - 12:17 PM No Comments